Tuesday, November 15, 2011

My Heart Aches For Bryan

Doesn't he look like he's having a great time in that picture?  It was taken the weekend before last.  At times, he seems to be in a great mood, but at other times, we can tell that something is bothering him.  Ana has felt that he holds in his emotions a lot, but he'll also act out, even though that's not necessarily what he's wanting to do, but that's the only way he has of showing it.  He doesn't mean to hurt anyone.  When he acts out, we would punish him by putting him in a time out.  He would scream and cry and throw a big fit almost the whole time he was in one.  Sometimes he would be there for 30 minutes until he calmed down.

Yesterday he was home with Ana since its her day off.  It was a pretty long weekend with him, even though we were both home on Sunday.  At one point, he said something to Peyton (Ana's daughter that's 3) and it hurt her feelings.  Instead of putting Bryan in the usual time out, she told him to go to his room and talk to his bears about what's bothering him.  She told him that he can tell them anything and to express his feelings to them.  I think this was a good idea and will help him express his feelings.

What comes next really hurts me.  Every time I think about it, it makes me cry because my heart aches for him. What's done is done, and I can only do so much to help him understand and to support and comfort him.

Basically, Bryan told his bears that he feels that his mommy doesn't love him anymore because she left him and that she doesn't want him and that he is mad and doesn't like her anymore.  He said he wanted his daddy and cried.

After hearing that, Ana talked to Maddox (her 5 year old) and asked him to talk to Bryan, kid-to-kid.  Maddox told Bryan that he misses his Papi (his dad), but knows that he loves him even though he can't see him and he knows Bryan loves his mommy and that she loves him, and that we all love him too and want him to play and be happy.  Bryan said he's mad at her, and Maddox said "I know, but we all love you".

After that, Bryan came downstairs and said "Hannah?" (that's what he calls her)
Ana: "Yes?"
Bryan: "I'm mad"
Ana: "I know"
Bryan: "But not at you"
Ana: "okay....I know I am only Hannah but I can love you and fix your booboo like a mommy and that won't change"
Bryan: "I know but I am so mad"
Ana: "well I get tired when I am mad I would rather be happy and play instead"
Bryan: "Me too"
Ana: "your mommy is tucked in your heart always and forever, don't forget that."
Bryan: "Okay, can I have some chocolate milk?"

I'm glad he opened up some, but I'm sad to hear that he feels that way.

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