Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Thankful For Friends

I might not have very many friends anymore, I guess I never really had too many ever.  My childhood consisted of moving every couple of years before I was in 6th grade.  Because of that, I never really got close to anyone.  I never had that "childhood friend" that people sometimes grow up with.  It made it hard for me to get close to people because I was always afraid we were going to move again.

Once we got to Texas, I was in 6th grade.  I'm not sure if people were just friendlier down there than the other places I lived or what, but I immediately started talking to a few people.  I never really did that before, I usually just kept to myself.  I didn't let myself get real close to anyone because I never knew if we were going to move or not.

The middle school years passed and then came high school.  By this time, we were in Texas for 3 years.  There were talks of my dad relocating again, meaning we would have to move.  So once again, I still didn't get real close to anyone.  I never dated anyone until 1999, and that was long distance.  My first "local" relationship was in Feb. 2000, and I was already a Senior.

Over the years, I've actually gotten close with a few people.  I've lost contact with some of them over the years, which I regret.

With all that said, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has supported me over the years.  You guys all mean a lot to me and I can only hope that I can be as good of a friend to you as you have been to me.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Happy Holidays!

I want to say Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone out there.  This hasn't been the best Christmas for me, but I still had a good time, or at least tried to.  I think this is the first Christmas in over 11 years that I haven't had someone to share it with.  I started dating in 1999 and I've always had someone to share Christmas with.  Well, not this year, at least not that "special someone".  I am in St. Louis visiting my mom and we went to my grandparent's house last night (they celebrate on Christmas Eve).  It was good seeing everyone again, but at the same time, I also felt like an odd one out because I don't think I've been there for Christmas in about 10 years.  I was never really THAT close to my cousins, but I used to talk to some of them more than I have lately.

My heart is aching today and sometimes I just feel like I want to go lay in bed and cry.  I've always been the type of person that has wanted to be in a relationship.  I know its good to have some "me" time too, but at the same time I like to share things with someone special and its hard on me when I can't.

After coming here, I've thought more and more about moving here or to Texas (in the end, I want to be in Texas).  I'm just not happy in Illinois.  I like my job and the people I work with.  It would just be hard to line up a job before moving, but that's the only way I would be able to do it.  It would also be hard moving away from Bryan.

Now I know everyone has a different opinion on that, but mine is that he can tell if I'm not happy and it'll have an effect on him.  If he sees me happy, then it'll have a better influence on him I guess.  I've wanted to go back to Texas even after only being in Illinois for a year, and everyone I know knows that.  I've thought about it a lot during this divorce thing and I've thought about both sides of it when it comes to Bryan too.

Anyway, back to what's important today, I hope everyone has had a great Christmas (better than me), and I hope everyone has a great New Years.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

First 28 Years Of My Life

For those of you that don't know me, I was born in a St. Louis suburb back on January 25, 1982.  My dad worked for Burlington Northern Railroad and we moved around a lot.  My dad was from Alabama and my mom was from the St. Louis area.  My dad moved there for work and they met in a disco bar.  Here they are with little old me lol...
I'm not even sure we lived in St. Louis for a year after I was born when we moved to Galesburg, IL.  My sister was born there in 1984.

From there we moved to Naperville, IL.  I started school there then we moved to White Bear Lake, MN.  I met some of my childhood friends there, Kari and Katie.  Their dad worked with mine and my mom is still close to their mom now.  Then we moved to Havre, MT for a year while I was in 3rd grade.  Then we moved back to White Bear Lake for 4th-6th grade.

I started 6th grade in MN, then we moved to Flower Mound, TX, which is where my heart is still at.  I loved it down there!  I lived down there from 6th grade until 2002.  I played basketball for school in grades 7-10...

My first job was at Best Buy where I met one of my best friends, Christy.  Her and I don't talk much anymore, but at the time, she was my best friend...

Then I worked at Blockbuster where I met another best friend, Shelly.  Her and I weren't really that close back then, and she moved up to the Chicago area after I did, and now she's one of my best friends.  We talk just about every day and she's been there for me, especially through all of my divorce stuff.  I also met Josh there, and we decided to get an apartment together and I moved out of my parent's house around August of 2000.

I graduated from Lewisville High School in May 2000...

After high school, I went to DeVry University in the DFW area, but I only went a semester or 2.  I worked in a tech support call center after high school too.

In May 2002, I moved up here to the Chicago area to be with Melissa.  I've been up here ever since, but I've wanted to move back to Texas on more than one ocassion.  I've worked a few jobs up here and I got this one in Sept. 2004.

My wonderful son, Bryan, was born June 23, 2007.  I wouldn't trade him for the world.

Around May 2009, I also got my dog Champ.  He's a yellow lab mix (I always wanted a yellow lab).

Well there's a little bit about my life.


Welcome to my blog! I've gone back and forth about starting this thing for a while now because I know there won't be many people that will read it since I'm not going to advertise it anywhere. It'll be more like a personal diary of things going on in my life and anything else I find interesting. I'm not very creative, so don't expect anything fancy here lol.

So, a little about me. As you can see over to the right, I'm 28 (will be 29 next month). I have a 3 1/2 year old son and I'm currently going through a divorce after being married for over 5 years. The divorce was completely unexpected by me and took me by surprise. I did try to fight for the marriage at first, but I soon realized that it was for the better. It sucks for our son since our family is now another statistic, but its better if he sees us both happy than be miserable together, at least in my opinion.

I'm living in our house (well, townhome) right now, but I don't know how much longer I'll be there. The housing market still sucks, so we're exploring our options with that one. Any suggestions? Eventually I want to move back to Texas (I'll explain the first 28 years of my life in another post).

I also have a lab mix that's almost 2. He's my buddy and I'm glad I get to keep him out of the divorce. I hate taking him outside in the snow to go potty, but at least he's pretty good at not messing up in the house. He'll sit in the recliner with me for hours and follow me around everywhere I go.

For work, I have 2 jobs right now technically. For my day job, I work as an IT Administrator and Inside Sales Rep for Packaged Concrete, Inc. I'm our sole IT department. Things have been slow, so my days are pretty boring and I'm usually online trying to keep myself busy. My 2nd job is as the Systems Administrator for

I have some great friends and family that support me and have always been there for me. You really do find out who your best friends are in your toughest times, and I can't imagine my life without them. I don't get to talk to some of them as much as I would like, but its worth it when I do. I wish I lived closer to most of them though, I only have 1 close friend up here, and she's about an hour away.

So that's my current life in a nutshell.